Civility Saves Lives

As we retch the end of Children’s Mental Health Week, Rossall’s Director of Studies, Dr Tom Fraser-Bourne, reflects on how civility is one of the simplest and most powerful ways that we can transform our community:

A quick thought experiment: think of a time when someone was rude to you, a cutting comment, a dismissive look, being talked over, a sarcastic “whatever”. Now, be honest, how well did your brain work in the next ten minutes?

During a conversation with a friend over the Christmas period, I learnt about an initiative within the healthcare sector called Civility Saves Lives. Civility Saves Lives is a clinician-led initiative that raises awareness of the profound impact that behaviour, including rudeness, has on performance, wellbeing and patient safety within a healthcare setting. Their message is simple: how we treat each other matters, and in a clinical setting it really can be the difference between life and death.

You can probably think of many examples of incivility. It can be obvious behaviour, shouting, swearing, belittling, or subtle: eye-rolling, tutting, talking over people, sending emails while someone is speaking, phubbing someone, that “you’re wasting my time” vibe.

As a Maths teacher, it would be remiss of me not to indulge in some statistics… Research conducted in 2013 on behalf of Civility Saves Lives found that when someone is rude:

• the recipient experiences a 61% reduction in cognitive function;

• 80% of recipients lose time worrying about the rudeness;

• 38% of recipients reduce the quality of their work; and,

• 48% of recipients reduce their time at work.

Those statistics are fairly shocking by themselves, but it gets worse. For people who aren’t the recipient of rudeness but simply witness it happening:

• there’s a 20% decrease in cognitive function; and,

• there’s a 50% decrease in willingness to help others.

These statistics highlight that incivility doesn’t stay between two people. It spreads through a team like a ripple in a pond – even just witnessing incivility might make you less willing to help.

So, what’s my point? Rossall isn’t a healthcare setting but the key message applies in education too: how we treat each other matters.

Let’s consider some examples relevant to us:

• one rude comment in a lesson might lead to fewer hands going up;

• one put-down in a friendship group might lead to people going quiet;

• one harsh message on a group chat might mean that nobody wants to engage; and

• one sarcastic moment at training might mean the team stops taking risks; 

We spend our days in teams: tutor groups, classes, sports teams, music groups, boarding houses, departments. Team culture isn’t a “nice extra”, it affects our performance. Great teams don’t just have roles and communication, they have a culture where people feel valued and respected. We know that people learn best when they feel safe to speak, make better decisions when they’re calm and thrive when they belong. So in our setting at Rossall, civility might not necessarily save lives but it does save friendships, confidence and learning.

In assembly this week I set everybody, students and staff, a challenge. By the time we break up for half term, they should have had:

1. One act of deliberate civility per day: the thank you, the inclusion, the respectful tone.

2. One active bystander moment: recognising and addressing another person’s rudeness.

3. One repair: a quick apology for their own incivility.

In conclusion, if rudeness can cut cognitive function by 61% in a recipient and 20% in a witness, then civility is one of the simplest ways we can raise performance within our community.

- Dr Tom Fraser-Bourne, Director of Studies